Really?! I Mean, REALLY?!
So, my douche-bag of an ex-boyfriend emailed me again last week:
Hi Melissa (I wanted to say Missy, but if I remember correctly, you don't like that anymore),
I tried sending you an email a few months ago (nothing inflammatory, just saying hi) but I did not hear back from you. I am wondering if this is still your email, or if you maybe didn't get my earlier email.
Anyway, I hope to hear from you. I hope all is well in the world of international business.
His previous email actually was also an inquiry into whether or not I was still using the same email address, and a few statements about how he missed me and wanted to update me on his life. Why, in god's name, would you email me if the last 4 times you've emailed me I haven't responded to you? Why?! It doesn't take a freakin' Nobel Laureate to realize that I don't want to talk to you. My friend Rachel, who regrettably introduced the two of us, thinks he knows he has the right email address, but is hoping that somehow the result of this email will be different than that of the last ones. Seriously, this guy is pathetic. We broke up almost 3 years ago, and I've been dating someone else (which, granted, he doesn't know, but still) for 2.5 years, so I really have nothing to say to him.
Throughout my entire 1st semester in grad school, he would call me a few times a week, which was fine at first, because I thought we could be friends. But then, when I got really busy with work and hanging out with new people (and dating K), he couldn't understand why I answered my phone less and less frequently. It all came to a head one night when I was out with K and our friend Oscar and his girlfriend for their birthdays. My ex called earlier in the evening, but we were leaving for dinner, so I told him I'd call him later. The restaurant was loud, I was having fun, and we didn't get back until something like 1 in the morning. Calling him back was the last thing on my mind. I looked at my phone before K and I went to sleep, and I had missed calls and voicemails from the ex. And that was just on my cell phone. He'd left another 3 on the phone in my dorm room. Whatever, it was 1 in the morning, meaning it was 4am East Coast time, so I just went to bed. But get this: the psycho called me again at 2am. I KNOW! And then he just kept calling back. Finally, I picked up the damn thing and told him to stop fucking calling and I'd talk to him the next day.
When I did finally call him back, he could not understand why I was mad at him. He actually thought his actions were reasonable, and certainly no psychotic or stalker-esque. There were 2 ensuing yelling matches, and then I told him to go the fuck away. Clearly, he's not so good with the listening. Even when I was in Armenia he emailed me a few times, and when I sent back very short, neutral notes, he shot back this angry diatribe about how I'd changed and he didn't like who I'd become and the old me would never be so stand-offish. Loser.
Anyway, the question really is, what do I do? K thinks I need to send him back and email that says, "look, I haven't talked to you in years for a reason - I don't want to. Leave me alone." However, and Rachel agrees here, I think that were I to email him at all, he would, in his twisted mind, take that to mean that communications were now open and he possibly had a chance with me. (He really does think this way - when we were dating, he still sometimes would have lunch with his ex Tracy, and come back and ask me if something she said meant that she wanted to get back together. I should have known to stay away from him.) A friend of mine from college thinks I should email him back and say, "Hi! I'm married with 2 kids now! Fuck off!" That would be pretty funny, but he'd probably think they were his kids and try to get back into my life for the good of the children.
